This is the home of two recovering nice guys who woke up one day and realized we had it all wrong.
I take that back. We didn’t have it all wrong, just a lot of the important parts.
My friend Brian and I have been friends for fourteen years and we’ve always had a lot in common. Getting to know Brian was like looking in a mirror; same image except everything was backward. I was very introverted; he was just as much extroverted. He was the cool one, I was the nerd.
I chose college and Brian chose a construction trade. He grew up with a single mother; I grew up with a single father. His mother was very religious; I had to walk myself to church.
But despite our differences, we shared so many common interests that we bonded immediately.
One of the common traits was our Nice Guy attitude. It was a trait we were proud of. The world was full of dicks and we tried our best to separate ourselves from them. We complimented each other on our extremely hard work ethic, our attitudes towards women, and our abilities to get along with just about everyone.
What we didn’t realize was that our work ethic was often taken advantage of, our sensitive attitude towards our wives weren’t always what they wanted, or needed, and our fear of being “the bad guy” led to a lot of unnecessary compromises that weren’t to our benefit.
I thought that I had cleared all my nice guy hurdles way back in college. I got involved in a train wreck of a relationship where I compromised a lot of values and made a lot of promises I couldn’t keep because I didn’t know how to say “no” and would do whatever I thought I needed to make the girl happy.
Well, it ultimately ended and I swore I would never let myself end up in that position again. I made a lot of improvements, learned a lot about relationships, and figured everything was fine.
My blind spots were exposed recently when my friend Brian was going through the end his marriage. As he described the steps he was taking to keep the marriage alive, I felt like he was doing everything right and just kept encouraging him to keep doing what he was doing. Eventually, his wife left and it wasn’t until after the divorce and the prospect of a new relationship that we began to realize, together, that maybe we didn’t have it so right after all.
So here, we are. We’ll be sharing some of our back story as we go, but most of this is looking forward as we continue finding ways to improve our lives.