Despite the name, this blog really isn’t about sex. It isn’t a taboo topic, just not the primary focus. But every once in awhile, what the hell….
I’m the married guy, so my stories won’t be about the day I banged two chicks in the same night. Those are Brian’s stories, and they are really interesting if he’ll ever get his ass over here to write them.
As a recovering nice guy, I’ve always had a problem with exerting control over my wife. I was scared to death of being a jerk, scared of coming across as selfish and uncaring. The idea that sex should be soft and sensual and focused on satisfying her needs left a large void right in the middle of what my wife really wants out of me.
The soft and sensual approach is good on occasion, but sometimes, what my wife really wants is to submit to me.
Now, that covers a wide range of activities. Sometimes it is as simple as me being assertive in approaching her for sex. Sometimes it involves me actively directing what we do once we’re naked. All of that is still within my comfort zone.
But sometimes she just wants to be a thoroughly used piece of meat. I’m talking about hair pulling, dirty slut talking, jamming it down her throat used. A little bit of abused doesn’t hurt either.
Last night was one of those nights. I’m not real sure what sparked it, but that is where it ended up. It was made clear that she was there solely to satisfy my needs and that would be accomplished however I chose. Whether it brought her to orgasm (it did) was irrelevant.
There was a time when the words, “Thank you, sir. May I be excused now?” would have made me feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. But last night it just made me want to jump her again.
Obviously, every woman is different and so is every relationship. But I’m pretty confident that this is a dynamic that most women in a secure relationship desire. When you dominate her, it lets her know she is safe. She is in the arms of a capable man who has the strength to protect her and that satisfies that security gland that women have. It is a huge display of trust on her part to give me full control over her body and know that she isn’t going to be hurt by doing so.
It is an odd sensation to expect my wife to “serve” me sexually. But it really is a great outlet for the submissive nature she has as a woman. My problem is letting that take place. Isn’t it ironic that the approach that makes me “feel better about myself” is the same approach that leaves her feeling less secure?
And conversely, the approach that makes me feel like a piece of shit is exactly what she needs. What does that tell me? It tells me that my concept about what makes me a piece of shit is skewed. I should feel like a piece of shit for neglecting her natural desire for submission. I should feel like the king of Big Dick whenever she curls up, satisfied and secure, into my arms after I’ve thoroughly used her.
If you aren’t stepping up and approaching your wife from a position of strength, you are neglecting an important part of what she is seeking from your relationship. Big Dick is about approaching life from a position of strength. That concept is demonstrated very clearly in learning how to lovingly dominate your wife.