If you have ever watched the Red Green Show, he had a catch phrase: if the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Sometimes, it can be the same thing.
We had a problem with my wife’s vehicle. The sensor that reads the oil pressure has come loose and goes crazy on our gravel road. Sometimes it gets bumped and decides to read zero oil pressure. This makes the dashboard start chiming continuously until it raises back up. It’s enough to make you want to stab an old woman in the eye.
It happened to her the other day on a shopping trip. With the kids. Ten minutes into a forty minute drive, she hits a dip and it starts chiming and won’t quit. She calls me, but there is nothing I can do over the phone. She has to endure it for the rest of the drive and then the full drive back. Did I mention she had the three kids in the vehicle?
She makes it home with a screaming headache. I get home about thirty minutes later. I pop the hood, fiddle around with a few wires, and start the engine. Everything is where it should be.
I grew up in a home full of shade tree mechanics. It was one of the “perks” of being dirt poor. You had to know how to fix a vehicle because yours always needed work. That was a long time ago, but I still know how to fumble my way around an engine block.
I go in, tell her I took care of it. Her response?
“That is the sexiest thing you could have said to me.”
I laughed, “I figured you would say something like that.”
“No, seriously. That is like, deep throat sexy. I’d suck your dick for that.”
We laugh and talk awhile. Later in the evening I lean over to her. “After the kids go down, we can have some nice, slow, ‘you’re my hero’ sex”. She laughed at the idea and agreed.
But that night, she fooled me. All my advances were rebuffed. After a pretty firm, “stop it”, I let it go and went to sleep.
Then I was woken up at 3 am. Hands running across my chest. A little more exploring and then the promised blow job. I was wide awake at that point! She jumped on me and we had a nice early morning romp.
Apparently, women like men who know how to do stuff. But here is the trick, guys. When you demonstrate your handiness, don’t just assume that she’s going to be thinking, “My hero! Let’s have sex” and wait for her to proclaim that. Make your intentions known. “I fixed the car. Let’s have sex.” She’s free to either agree or disagree, but you made it known that you understand the value of what you’ve done.
Just don’t mention the Red Green connection. You lose a lot of points for that one.