We are in the process of trying to transform a good marriage into a great marriage. As we’ve begun this journey, I find that there were really only two things holding us back; my wife’s issues with her appearance following three children, and my nice guy mindset.
About six months ago, my wife was finally able to start losing the weight after six years of trying in vain. She is now down almost 40 lbs and is back down to her pre-wedding weight and sizes. She did get new boobs about 5 years ago. I would argue that she is more attractive now than she was in her early 20’s.
As I watched her progress, I became aware that I needed to step it up myself. My issues were pretty basic; I’m too thin, very boring wardrobe, and just a basic non-awareness of how other women see me.
I need to be attractive for my wife. She should have an attractive man on her arm when we go out. My appearance and demeanor are as much her bragging rights as they are mine.
In the last six weeks or so, I’ve been actively working to improve these things. I’ve been open with her about what and why I’m changing. We’ve actually started doing these things as a couple.
So fast forward to a couple weeks ago. We got a weekend away without the kids. She was taking lots of pictures, we did some shopping for new clothes, and decided to dress up for a musical we were going to see. I looked at the pictures and made the comment that this was the first time I could see an actual improvement in my arms and upper body.
As we were getting dressed, my wife suddenly got very concerned. She looked at me and said, “I can’t keep up with you. You’re better looking than I am now.” I laughed, but she was serious. I told her that was a good thing as the best scenario is the husband being a half step or so above the wife. It motivates her to want more sex with him. I tried to keep it light-hearted but I could see her looking worried while she finished getting ready.
The next morning we were discussing it and she said, “I looked at you and I was overcome with this feeling of dread that I could actually lose you. I’ve always known you are attractive, but now YOU know it to. You could find another woman if you chose to. It really scared me.”
I wish I could say I was stunned by this statement, but I have to admit, I’ve kind of been hoping for it. I don’t really want my wife to be fearful of our relationship. She knows I would take a bullet for her (“So why don’t you?” she keeps hollering in the background) and she is in a stable, loving marriage. But the end result was a wonderful boost to my ego and a corresponding increase in her attraction to me.
My wife wants a husband who acts like he’s got a big dick. That is an awesome testament to her. She could have freaked out about it. She could have started trying to sabotage my efforts, or started belittling me in order to keep my ego in check. Instead she encourages me every day to do more.
Some days I wonder how I managed to find this woman.