I have a new project. We’ll call him Dan. Dan was the guy mentioned in my earlier post about the strange encounter in our Sunday School class. I didn’t expect to hear from him again, but he’s back and I’ve learned a little more about him.
Dan is 22 year old. He grew up without his father. His step-father was an alcoholic. Dan has been in prison for two of his four adult years for stupid stuff. He’s spent another year of his adulthood just wandering homeless through Georgia.
Dan got married last week to the girl he drug to our class. I found out this week that the reason she was unhappy about being in church is that she was having sex with an old boyfriend that Sunday morning when he called her to come to the church. Now, less than two weeks into their “marriage” he’s living with his mother.
We started talking again this last Wednesday. I told him that I could help his try to work through some things if he really wanted to try. I told him I could help him with two things; I can teach him about God. And I can teach him to be a man. I told him we would need at least three months.
We continued our conversation on Thursday. He was complaining that he needed a job. He had no job, no money, no car. With no resources, he had nothing work with to begin changing his life. So I told him on Thursday that I would be praying for him and make some calls to see if anyone needed any help.
My first call on Friday was to a friend who is a general contractor. I just asked him to let me know if he knew anyone looking for help. He called me back within ten minutes. HE needed some help and he needed it right now. I passed his number on to Dan and he was working an hour later.
If you believe in God, this is a great demonstration of how he reveals himself to people who are hurting, but seeking him. If you aren’t a believer, well then this is just a good example of how awesome I am.
So, a successful story, right? We helped a young wandering soul find gainful employment and put him on the path to true manliness. Well, until Monday. He send me a message at 10:00 on Monday. He’s having a bad day. Missing the girl. Didn’t get any sleep. DIDN’T GO TO WORK. He asked me if we could get together for coffee. Sure. He asked if Tim (the contractor) could join us. Of course .
We meet at our church and set down for coffee. Tim and I spend two hours trying to explain to Dan than gainful employment and a sense of accomplishment in life is one of the hallmarks of manhood.
Dan has never held a job longer than three weeks in his life. He has no concept of what it means to get up EVERY day and go to work. He doesn’t understand the long term plan of Employment= Income = Independence.
His life is currently wrapped up in the dysfunctional relationship with the woman. His entire sense of self worth, his sense of identity is wrapped up in a relationship. We are trying to shift his thinking to understanding how to find his self worth in the work of his hands and in his own accomplishments.
Dan went back to work with Tim after our meeting. I think he went today. I hope he will go tomorrow. The only thing stopping him…is him.
How do you live your life like you’ve got a big dick? Work.
You don’t have to lose yourself in your job. That isn’t the point. But knowing you are capable of achieving. Knowing that you are capable of creating, of providing. These are the things we men were created to do. It is the source of much of our strength in life. And this is what Big Dick Living is all about; living your life from a position of strength.