You Don’t Have To Be A Man To Be “Big Dick”

I previously introduced you to my wife and I hope I’ve made it clear that I am married to a remarkable woman. Even though I try to be conscious of her awesomeness, on occasion I lose track of just how amazing she really is.

It isn’t always easy living with a Big Dick; just ask her. Sometimes I’m Big Dick, and sometimes I’m just a dick.

There aren’t really any demands of excellence, just more of an expectation. We are enjoying an excellent life together and that requires a significant amount of effort on both of our parts. Quite frankly, she makes it look easy and that makes it easy for me to overlook her accomplishments.

As she reads this, she is going to shake her head and say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t do anything around here.” That’s kinda true (as she punches my arm), but when she does do something, she does it very well.

I want to highlight two recent accomplishments that were straight out of the Big Dick playbook.

First, my wife has done an extraordinary job of getting in shape. Since December of last year, she has lost over 40 pounds. It has been a mixture of hard work, discipline, some effective supplements, and a determination to make it work.

She was ecstatic when she got back to her wedding weight from 13 years ago.

She was dumbfounded when she got back to her engagement weight of 14 years ago.

She was horny as hell when she got back to her first year of college weight from 16 years ago. She is wearing size 2 jeans; a size she has never worn as an adult.

But it isn’t just about size. When you throw in the amazing set of boobs she is now sporting, she is developing a sexual presence that just makes me stop and stare.

This is all new to her and she is still treading carefully, but every day she becomes more aware of the strength that she possesses. She keeps trying to use it on me. She gives me those, “I’m going to do bad things to you” eyes, often while shimmying out of her sexy underwear. She just expects me to melt. But I just remind myself, “What would I do if I had a big dick?”

Oh, hell, who am I kidding? That woman makes me want to write bad checks. I’ll do damn near anything she asks of me. I just have to make it sound like it was my idea.

She absolutely DEMANDED that I include this picture in this post. Who am I to tell her no?

She absolutely DEMANDED that I include this picture in this post. Who am I to tell her no?

Accomplishment #2.

The facebook douchebag came back.

She decided to chat with him a little to see what he might try next. The next conversation took about five minutes for him to bring up the new boobs again. She immediately ended the conversation. On Sunday, I tagged her in a post about a get together with our friends. In less than 30 minutes, he sends her a “good morning” text.

I told her not to respond to that one. He was testing to see how real our “happy marriage” was. If she engaged him immediately after I posted, it would be an indication that I didn’t matter much in the equation.

He didn’t try again until Tuesday. She shows me the message. Sure, lets see what happens. She starts asking him about his kids. He responds a couple of times. He’s currently working away from home. She mentions how important our video chatting with the kids was back when I traveled some.

As soon as I come up, he tries to bring up their old relationship. Again, testing to see how significant I really was. My wife gives him a wonderfully mature slap down:

Her: why are you asking so much about the past?

Him: Just curious. Never mind.

Her: okay, just thought I should let you know that I am not up for or looking for anything outside my marriage.

Him: Ok? Not hinting. Forget I asked

Her: okay. just wanted to make sure that we were both on the same page in our friendship.

Him: Yep

As soon as she logged off, he de-friended her. We got a big laugh out of that one. It just goes to show that a Big Dick woman trumps a limp dick guy every day of the week.

I love you, sweet heart.

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