Friday Night With No Kids! Let’s Do Something Different!

Like go to bed early.

As I’m mentioned before, we live in a rural area. We’re about an hour from anywhere big enough to go out for a night on the town. So it is a constant struggle to decide if we want to be out of the house for several hours, or just stay home and enjoy the quiet while we run around in our underwear.

I put these on as soon as the kids walk out the door.

I put these on as soon as the kids walk out the door.

This weekend, the in-laws took the kids overnight and we opted for staying in. I picked up a couple of nice KC strip steaks to throw on the grill and we settled in with some cheesy b-rated vampire movies.

"You aren't immortal. It just feels like it because this movie goes on FOREVER."

“You aren’t immortal. It just feels like it because this movie goes on FOREVER.”

And booze. My friend the home brewer sent us home with a bottle of his moscato wine last week and my wife popped the cork on Friday. Apparently he makes it pretty stout because, after two glasses, she was out like a light by 10:30.

We call this foreshadowing

We call this “foreshadowing.”

(I’m going to throw out a “readers discretion advised” warning here. So ladies, if you are squeamish about non-consensual sex topics, you may want to skip the rest of this.)

We often joke about the idea of having sex while she is asleep. Her general attitude has always been, “If you can get it done without waking me, have at it.”

I have never taken her up on this challenge. As you know, I’m working to overcome a severe “Nice Guy” personality. My hesitation is not a moral objection; my fear was based on the idea of her waking up and rejecting me and then I would feel like a complete tool. She says I’m just a pussy.

So here we are. I help her to bed and she is laid out topless in her skimpy underwear and stockings. “If you can get it done without waking me, have at it,” is running through my head. I know she won’t care. As long as she doesn’t get sick, we’ll laugh about it in the morning.

So what the hell, I went for it. It was such an awkward experience that I had to make myself stay with it to completion. She never moved a muscle. I made myself walk away and leave her laying there.

Understand, there is not an ounce of disrespect involved here. My wife is the light of my life. This was just about pushing my comfort zone, knowing that I was well within her comfort zone.

So I turned off the light and went downstairs. An hour later, I came back. Except for pulling the sheet over her, she hadn’t moved. I messed around with her for a few minutes, no reaction. She was out.

What the hell, let’s go for it.

Again, I made myself continue to completion, the whole time waiting for any hint of protest or discomfort. But it never happened. I finished and walked away.

I came to bed at 12:30. I had to push her legs over to her side of the bed and roll her onto her side so I could curl up behind her and tuck her in under the covers. I laid there beside her for about ten minutes and then I got curious. She was still soaking wet. How does that happen? I don’t know, but you know, what the hell.

This time I didn’t finish, just enjoyed her for a while and then curled up and fell asleep.

We woke up on Saturday, and I prepared to tell her about how the rest of the evening went. She beat me to it.
“You had fun last night.”
“Oh really? What do you remember?”
“You fucked me three times.”
“You remember that? How? You were out cold.”
“Nope. I remember all of it.”
“But you just laid there. You never even twitched. How is that possible?”
Shrugs. “I don’t know. Just glad you enjoyed it. I was worried I ruined your evening going to bed so early.”

There is still so much I need to learn about how you crazy women think.

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10 thoughts on “Friday Night With No Kids! Let’s Do Something Different!

  1. She really didn’t move at all? Maybe you should change the name of your blog if you catch my drift. šŸ˜‰ jk

    Reminds me of my night last night, well the sleeping part. I randomly woke up licking my boyfriends penis. Glad you enjoyed yourself, and I am sure she got off on it too.

    • Hey, it’s only gotta be big enough to satisfy me, you know what I’m sayin?

      I completely forgot to mention that after we woke up on Saturday, I tied her to the Bowflex for a delightful round of bondage play. That was our planned event for the evening before she fell asleep.

      • Sounds like fun! I’m just writing on my blog about my good time last night with my boyfriend. I hope it’s not to inappropriate for some people. I can go a little to over the top at times.

  2. See, even my militant feminism doesnt qualify this as non-consensual bc I have given that same disclaimer (‘just got for it’) myself, while awake and sober. Mine had more to do with my bf and me sometimes being on different sex clocks – mine would wake me up between 3 and 6 am, but in the evening I just wanted to pass out (no kids but we were a very active couple so sometimes as soon as we got to either of our places I was sleepwalking to my bed). So I told him that if he was really in the mood but I was passed out to just start working me, and there’s a good chance I would wake up/half wake up and get into it. And I did, nearly every time, if not all of them. It was hot. I definitely never sleept though šŸ™‚

    PS – that poor lad… every time I woke up and woke him up between 3 and 6 (and he’d have to be up at 7 for work), he would oblige without a peep of complaint – and he would actually be the one to do the work, not lay there half asleep!

    • I appreciate hearing that it wasn’t over the line for you as a reader. I really was concerned about someone feeling like this was “marital date rape” when that wasn’t the point. I just felt like I needed to be mindful of other peoples experiences.

      • I absolutely, absolutely agree – and after your disclaimer I was pretty nervous to read on (but of course couldnt stop). I am extremely concerned about rape culture and the treatment of consent, the victims and the perpetrators (by the way, the state of things in this department in Russia makes the US look like a hippie feminist paradise). Anyway, as I kept reading forward, not once did I get uncomfortable and I think this could be said for most female readership. Kudos!

      • I can’t imagine some of the things you see there.

        “Militant feminism” you say? You realize, it now becomes my mission to turn you into a giggling school girl, doodling “I heart Adam” on your notebook, and waiting breathlessly for my next post so you can talk to me again.

        And if you didn’t laugh at that, I must assume that number 6 from your post about “What Women Need” must be true.

      • AWW, you read it! Actually I laughed and then had to go look up what #6 was – it’s been forever ago.

        As for your mission – I will enjoy watching you try šŸ™‚

        Btw feminists totally giggle – but doodling hearts? NEVER. Well…unless Chris Hemsworth is involved!

  3. I was nervous after your disclaimer also, but when I kept reading I did not find anything wrong with it. She gave her consent, albeit earlier. I do wonder though if she was really asleep or letting you live out a fantasy?
    šŸ™‚ Bea

    • Considering she laid in the exact same position for over two hours, I’m going to say mostly asleep. And she says she has no recollection that I came back in at one point and read a book for half an hour with the light on.

      Considering all the positive responses, I told her we were going to have to do this more often!

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